16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
