Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.

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  (812): Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward. http://tfl.nu/8jbn
  Replies (16) Good night (3566) Bad night (821)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.

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  (480): Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby. http://tfl.nu/ip7w
  Replies (12) Good night (5503) Bad night (1402)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?

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  (601): Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time? http://tfl.nu/q1z9
  Replies (7) Good night (2417) Bad night (926)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.

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  (914): He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now. http://tfl.nu/ph35
  Replies (15) Good night (1483) Bad night (3460)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.

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  (208): make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say. http://tfl.nu/7pqa
  Replies (2) Good night (2489) Bad night (651)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single

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  (970): Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single http://tfl.nu/1weq
  Replies (12) Good night (2582) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.

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  (774): I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you. http://tfl.nu/ievp
  Replies (8) Good night (1989) Bad night (702)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.

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  (514): I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari. http://tfl.nu/cpgv
  Replies (6) Good night (855) Bad night (1266)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.

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  (309): I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough. http://tfl.nu/3hvx
  Replies (3) Good night (643) Bad night (1090)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.

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  (719): the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand. http://tfl.nu/ekbv
  Replies (11) Good night (1696) Bad night (577)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.

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  (610): I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city. http://tfl.nu/xrle
  Replies (12) Good night (529) Bad night (1287)
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  (619): View more from California

  how did you know i stayed over last night?

  (702): View more from Nevada

  there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom

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  (619): how did you know i stayed over last night? (702): there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom http://tfl.nu/hfaf
  Replies (1) Good night (1281) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"

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  (608): I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better" http://tfl.nu/176v
  Replies (10) Good night (1383) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.

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  (662): IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol. http://tfl.nu/ywt6
  Replies (1) Good night (1063) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us

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  (305): I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us http://tfl.nu/syu0
  Replies (3) Good night (350) Bad night (579)

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