Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/452g
  Replies (15) Good night (4581) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday. http://tfl.nu/86uh
  Replies (42) Good night (11716) Bad night (1166)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night. http://tfl.nu/d1vk
  Replies (5) Good night (3838) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body? http://tfl.nu/k849
  Replies (12) Good night (4121) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex. http://tfl.nu/fp8n
  Replies (6) Good night (2733) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning http://tfl.nu/rh9g
  Replies (13) Good night (2326) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME http://tfl.nu/5t87
  Replies (2) Good night (2082) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I hope you did not try this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face. (706): I hope you did not try this. http://tfl.nu/9l4w
  Replies (10) Good night (1648) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible. http://tfl.nu/ayl9
  Replies (9) Good night (1985) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails. http://tfl.nu/klfg
  Replies (15) Good night (1984) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish http://tfl.nu/kpto
  Replies (10) Good night (1075) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car. http://tfl.nu/1aw9
  Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  dont eat that thats our sex nutella.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): dont eat that thats our sex nutella. http://tfl.nu/y04n
  Replies (10) Good night (990) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards http://tfl.nu/qcuz
  Replies (3) Good night (1067) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me http://tfl.nu/c4z7
  Replies (4) Good night (722) Bad night (437)

Randomize