I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles