I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
