Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution