That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
