just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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