your room smells of hookers.
And success
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
