The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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