We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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