Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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