He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
