I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
