she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I love you. Go after that dick
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
