i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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