Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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