Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
