My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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