thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I AM VODKA MAN
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
