drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
