This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize