is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
