ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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