Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just google imaged poop.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
