I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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