Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize