You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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