4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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