Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
