i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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