Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
