This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
