Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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