she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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