I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have aggressive nipples.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
