i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize