Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
