honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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