Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
