I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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