I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
