would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
