thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
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Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
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Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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