his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
