god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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