my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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