Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
