This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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