got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
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Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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