she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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