K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
