what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
