she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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