Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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