shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
