Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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