So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
well you can't waste a boner
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
