I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
