he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
