so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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