Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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