Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I love you!

  (323): View more from California

  You're insane

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha

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  (702): I love you! (323): You're insane (702): Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u! (702): Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha http://tfl.nu/wtaa
  Replies (8) Good night (1213) Bad night (1634)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?

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  (808): Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way? http://tfl.nu/yy6b
  Replies (15) Good night (4734) Bad night (1160)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?

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  (778): Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird? http://tfl.nu/7neo
  Replies (26) Good night (4161) Bad night (945)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.

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  (703): I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk. http://tfl.nu/xfwn
  Replies (8) Good night (752) Bad night (5547)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again

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  (226): Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again http://tfl.nu/v9b0
  Replies (5) Good night (1888) Bad night (3244)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair

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  (978): vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair http://tfl.nu/uyhj
  Replies (5) Good night (2717) Bad night (867)
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  (951): View more from California

  apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.

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  (951): apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex. http://tfl.nu/6011
  Replies (10) Good night (2311) Bad night (1115)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?

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  (512): Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits? http://tfl.nu/6yhs
  Replies (84) Good night (1532) Bad night (11046)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.

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  (615): You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy. http://tfl.nu/cdg1
  Replies (10) Good night (793) Bad night (1524)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.

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  (479): The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now. http://tfl.nu/1qaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1787) Bad night (596)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.

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  (309): I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison. http://tfl.nu/fqll
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (360)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.

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  (412): I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn. http://tfl.nu/rnnm
  Replies (3) Good night (525) Bad night (308)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.

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  (206): That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days. http://tfl.nu/co8c
  Replies (4) Good night (879) Bad night (290)
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  (212): View more from New York

  He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?

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  (212): He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn? http://tfl.nu/0euf
  Replies (3) Good night (1251) Bad night (281)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.

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  (330): I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake. http://tfl.nu/lvqj
  Replies (0) Good night (467) Bad night (212)

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