dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
