Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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